Is ‘Hot or Not’ the Cure for Lonely Single Women? Probably ‘Not’
The controversial Facebook dating app and website, Hot or Not, is declaring victory with its first marriage as a result of two people meeting via their social network.
As the self-proclaimed place to rate, date and hook up with hot singles, Hot or Not offers you the opportunity to post a photo of yourself and allow thousands of strangers all over the world tell you just how hot or not you are. While we think its peachy that two people are now sharing a state of marital bliss as a result, we can only speculate on the number of women who are not finding themselves in such euphoria after their experience with this and other so-called dating sites.
Just one look at Hot or Not and their who premise of getting people to rate the way you look is enough to get my new black spandex panties in a wad. Im not single and perhaps dont understand the longing to find a man, but thats not going to stop me from commenting.
First of all, ladies, lets be clear that while one success story is being touted, posting your photo online is most likely not a precursor to a happy, lasting relationship. If a guy is choosing you based on how he and others rate your looks, then hes shallow. What else can we say? Yes, of course, being physically attracted to someone is important were not going to deny that. But going to a site where others deem you as worthy or not worthy is like gym class in fifth grade all over again when the popular kids chose their teams. It never feels good standing there waiting to be picked.
Second, Id love to know how women justify being on display like this. Isnt posting a photo of yourself just as superficial as the men who view it? Seems to me this sets us up for the never-ending cycle of females being judged too harshly based on looks once again. How many hours are spent primping and preening to get the right pose from the right angle with just enough cleavage or abs or legs showing? Come on girls, lets take a stand for ourselves and refuse to be more than something others gawk at. Other dating sites have even kicked members off for being too fat or too ugly. Yeah, thats a great way to boost self-esteem and make people feel good about themselves which, ironically, just so happens to be a key personality trait for attracting a partner.
Then there is the whole scenario of what to believe and not to believe on these sites. I mean, given the opportunity to put yourself out there, who isnt going to embellish just a tad? Maybe youre a bit taller, a bit slimmer, a bit younger or a bit more hip saying you like things like skydiving and mountain climbing when the truth is that heights scare you to death. How much thats on these dating networks is actually believable? And how many of the photos that are posted are actually what someone looks like on any given day? I have a friend who went on a date once after meeting someone online and when he showed up his date said, Wow, you look a lot older than your picture. Yes, posting your college photo only works when youre in college.
As commonplace as online dating has become, I am not totally against the concept. But when it comes to putting our photos on sites so others can rate our looks, we need to get a clue. The other members are not interested in hearing about our love of poetry or our extensive knowledge of marine biology. They are there to eye you up and down, just like walking into a bar, and then tell you what they think. And remember, people are always harsher when they are hiding behind their computers.
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